I am terrible with timing. I am late to everything, as much as I try to plan to be on time. The only exceptions to this are for business meetings and getting to the airport, mainly because the fear of missing my plane, no matter where I am going, is enough to shoo me out the door when needed.
But alas, I am human, and every once in a while I don't quite get it right, including the other day on my way back home from Miami. The Miami airport is an annoying one to navigate, especially when you have to deal with returning a rental car, and it's the only time in my life where I arrived at the airport and was relieved to find that my flight had been delayed. After locating my gate all the way at the end of the terminal (don't you ever notice that your gate is always the furthest one away? Who are these lucky people whose gates are right outside of security?) and being informed by the gate agent that we still had another 10 or 15 minutes til boarding began, I took a deep breath and went in search of food.
I was over finding something Au Naturale. It was 3:30 PM and I hadn't had anything to eat since 8:30 AM. I needed protein and carbs and no grease, the memory of being surrounded by the Beautiful People still fresh in my mind... although you may be happy to know that on the third day, a new poolside waitress was more than happy to take my order. Huzzah! I found a nice little bakery and sandwich shop, picked up a pre-made sandwich and a bottle of water, and finally took a breath. I was going to make it home after all!
My choices for water were pretty varied, considering most airports contract with only one or two bottled water companies for your selection. Not here. I had my choice of a shot-glass sized bottle, which would have never lasted the 3-hour flight; a mega bottle, which would have been way to annoying to fit in my seat-back pocket; and the midsized bottle of Smart Water. So Smart Water it was.
I have always been wary of special claims made in the bottled water market. "Ours tastes better!" (Shouldn't good tasting water taste like nothing at all?) "Ours is from the purest underground streams in the world!" (They all say that. How many of those streams actually exist? And is the water collected by exotic yaks, too?) Smart Water, as they so aptly disclose in the actual name of the product, is supposed to be smarter than all the other water out there. I didn't know water had brains! Or is water like jellyfish, without brains but somehow knowing exactly when to sting you? I do know that Jennifer Aniston swears by it and consequently is their spokesperson. I am also confident enough in my own sexuality that I can openly admit that I think Jennifer Aniston is incredibly hot. I've seen enough pictures of her in string bikinis in Mexico or somewhere similarly tropical. If I can look even half as good as that when I'm 40, I'll be happy. So I might be willing to pay attention to something for which she is shilling in the way of nutrition.
I didn't really have a chance to study my bottle of Smart Water until I got on the plane. In fact, it didn't even occur to me to stare at the ingredient list (I'm still amused by ingredient lists in water) until after I looked at the one of the protein bar my Miami co-worker generously gave me before I fled to the airport. The ingredient list on that sucker made me shudder. So on a whim, I turned the water bottle around and was surprised to find that in addition to "vapor-distilled water", there was added calcium chloride, magnesium chloride and potassium bicarbonate.
Whoa! Scary word alert! Why does my water need additives? I did know that Smart Water was supposed to have added electrolytes, so were these things the components of the electrolytes? I also know enough that recognize that calcium chloride is a type of salt... so I was also drinking a form of saltwater. Hmm. It is intriguing that Smart Water is made in a lab by innovative scientists who apparently create mini-clouds and then make them rain, ostensibly directly into the bottle, hence the "vapor-distilled" claim. The idea is that this water is simply cleaner than what you're going to get out of a stream, yak-collected or not. I will say that the water tasted great, which to me means it tasted like absolutely nothing at all- just what I wanted.
I tried to do all of my regular research to look into what these things were and why they were in my water, but all I could find was other people looking for the same information, also in vain. Even my go-to website for debunking claims, eatingrealfood.com, didn't even have a single entry on designer waters. I double-checked the Gatorade ingredient list and it overlapped a bit, even though Gatorade is not exactly lacking in the sugar and additives department. In the end, the story of electrolytes and exactly how many we need, how many we naturally produce, and getting the balance right is actually a tricky one. It comes down to that electrolytes are good for us. And if you are someone who works out a lot, or runs marathons, keeping a supply of something like Gatorade or Smart Water around is indeed a good idea. But let's be honest: most Americans probably don't need the extra boost from something as specific as Smart Water as we don't, as an overall society, work out a lot. Then again, we drink a lot, and those electrolyte-laden drinks are supposedly great in the way of hangover prevention. Sooo... maybe we do.
So, my apologies to Jennifer Aniston and her rockin' bod, but I don't think I'm going to subscribe to the Smart Water craze anytime soon. My Brita and a waterbottle is enough for me (and better for the environment, natch). Perhaps when I am completing a strenuous workout while nursing a wicked hangover, on the road and away from my Brita, I will choose the Smart Water. But not all the time, Jen. Not all the time.
No comments:
Post a Comment